Party Six: Getting my bearings

I gripped the screen door handle and opened the door when the door opened to me and I stepped in the door and tripped over a mountainous terrain of shoes, leathers and browns and greens and a few stranded purses. They were spread forward like a platter, I remember thinking that, they were spread forward like a platter. Wobbling, I managed to maintain enough balance and dignity not to reach forward and grab Cara's arms in order to prevent my fall, which would have knocked the wine glass out of her hand and splashed little droplets of malbec everywhere, all over the shoes and probably onto Cara's fun cream party dress. I didn't do that.

I stepped and tripped and looked up and Cara was grinning at me and I smiled and we exchanged words and she dragged me into a mass of bodies. I tried to soak in everyone's faces without acknowledging my sneaking suspicion that everyone was staring at me - they weren't, were they, the music was blaring and they were talking and a couple people looking up isn't everyone looking up - and then my eyes fell into a sudden freeze-pose with big intense eyes, oh, that guy I met the other day, he's here, he's smiling at me and suddenly gesturing as though he wants to break off from whomever he's talking with - is that Tina?? - but Cara has gone off ahead and she expects me to follow her to the kitchen, she had said, I should follow her to the kitchen. I noticed that the walls, or perhaps a massive monochromatic wall painting, were yellow, and something else was black and brown, and then I realized that I hadn't taken off my shoes in all the entrance-tripping excitement and I was now treading over her hardwood floor - no, tracking over her hardwood floor, tracking snow.

"Hi again! Good to see you here!"

I looked up and sure enough, it was Steve, tall handsome Steve, who probably thinks I'm available, but it's just so nice that he wants to talk to me, and I've lost Cara now but I glance around the room again and realize that no, it is not Tina, and I do not know anyone else except maybe vaguely.

Steve asked me about my project, which lead to my summer, which lead me to ask him about his project and his summer, and we had a good conversation about our projects and our summers, and seven minutes had passed, and I was still at the party, and I was having a good time.

(http://kowalsky.co.uk/index.html)

breaking up with the blog?

Jeez, I suck at my blog these days. I don't think it has collapsed, but I think maybe I have. Collapsed under an interminable pile of applications and papers. PhD apps are making me stupid, absent-minded, and erratic - I can't tell you how many times I've been like "Ok, so what items do I need to include in this application?" I usually have a really good memory for these details.

I have been meaning forever to respond to Tom and Matt's comments in the last debate - to explain to Tom the working-class etc. themes, and to agree with Matt that Eliot is searching for something beyond language, yes, absolutely. And Tom, yes, you're right in pointing out that the debate should not become one between the 'crass and the composed.' I really appreciate both of your critical engagement with my ideas, and I'm moved that you were both motivated to re-read The Wasteland. Thank you.

I also don't think that the Party series has collapsed - has it? I am tempted to create a separate blog to maintain a sense of cohesion with these posts, but that would be a pretty major step.

Anyway, I continue to think about the meaning of this blog. I'll leave you with this video. I don't think it represents my own break-up with The Boydleian. But I don't think a lot of things.

Discussion of: "Rev. of 'Rev. of: classical music heaven'"

I have to address this; otherwise I would be a bad blogger. Also I want to. I'm just not entirely sure I'm up to the challenge.

Let me fill you in. Tom has interpreted my post below, reviewing two performers at the Honens competition in Calgary, as "a discourse not so much on the empirical content of a factual event, but, taking flight from the ground of said event, as a metaphysical depiction of this ineliminable modern and ancient dichotomy of reason [represented by the first performer, Natacha, a true musical eccentric with winged fingers] & passion [represented by the second performer, Yue, a virtuosic but soulless robot]." That is, Tom distills my argument to a philosophical debate between reason and emotion. Tom quite rightly suggests that the reviewer (myself), evidently privileging the first standard of music and life, acts in accordance with the general public, who would only be convinced otherwise if the second performer was later proven to exhibit a performance of passion comparable with the first. Tom then decries the ineliminable nature of this conflict as both passion and rationality are essential to the human experience, and expresses a final, exasperated desire to rid himself of the conflict altogether, and perhaps find solace in the world of the material, which is immune to any discussion of ration versus passion.

So, guyz, passion versus rationality? Feeling vs. thinking? IS there an essential, perpetual conflict? Do you generally prefer the former, as has been suggested? I would love to hear some more views on the topic, in the form of any kind of expression or response (ie. no need for verbosity).

Myself...yes, I suppose we know where my loyalty lies, at least as an observor. However, I am also a devoted critical writer, so I admire a thoughtful and logically presented argument, backed with substantial evidence and carefully crafted rhetoric.

T.S. Eliot hated the 'me-'ness that he saw in many more emotionally charged contemporary poets. He wanted to distance himself as much as possible from his work, employing many allusions and alternate narrative voices in order to state something broader, about life I guess. But it is arguable whether logic or emotion presents itself as more accessible to readers/viewers unfamiliar with the experience or subject matter (?). Eliot wanted to avoid all transparency in his poetry (transparency in the sense that his work would say something about him, personally), but the result can be obscure density - particularly in The Wasteland, which is a brilliant work but which requires quite a few pages of footnotes. Still, I'm starting to wonder, as I often do, if the dichotomy is flawed here, as Eliot's work certainly reflects rational, distanced meditation, but it also communicates profound emotion and humanistic portrayals, particularly in the depiction of working classes and the malaise of modern society. So is this the perfect balance of thought and feeling, as it requires much preparation but still a humanistic deployment?

Eek. I may be making myself more confused.

Please, thoughts (or feelings?).

My Radio Debut

Hello all,

I don't know if any of you will read this in time, but I will be on CJSW (the campus radio station) tonight at 6 pm MST, being interviewed about my thesis. I'm pretty nervous, and I'm not positive I won't run out of things to say 10 minutes in, but oh well.

You can listen to CJSW online here if you are interested.

READ THIS.

(in particular, the second-last comment. TRUST me.)

Party Five: bathroom break

Brenda turned the doorknob.


It was locked.


Brenda really, really had to go to the bathroom.

Rev. of: classical music heaven

I have long been a lover/patron/practicer of classical music, perhaps since I first heard my mom playing Chopin's Waltz Op. 64 No. 2 when I was very young. As such, I am very thankful for one of Calgary's little-known secrets, the Honens International Piano Competition. You should know that audio recordings of all the performances are available online here. The performances I will discuss today are both from the 30 October evening semifinals.

Natacha Kudritskaya entered the stage wearing gray sweat pants, Converse sneakers, and a long-sleeved black t-shirt with, as we could later tell, two fairy wings imprinted on the back. She sat down at the piano and silently worshiped it for a few piercing moments before taking off on a whirlwind musical trip of emotion and fervor. Although a few trills were lost in the beginning of the Schubert -- perhaps due to nerves or the lack of a fully sufficient sacrifice to the god of music-- the rest of the performance was riveting, demonstrating a passion for the instrument and tempered delight in its dynamic extremes. Kudritskaya elicited a standing ovation at the end, but demurred an encore.


The second performance, Yue Chu, supplied a rather different musical experience. Clearly a technical genius, Chu scarcely fumbled a single note: refer especially to the three-minute movement within the Mahler piece which occurs 48 minutes into his audio recording (you will notice that this piece is followed by a rare outburst of spontaneous applause, usually occuring only at the end of each section). His nimble fingers effortlessly danced across the keys, displaying his absolute command over the instrument. Especially notable was his skilled accompaniment of the contralto Marie-Nicole Lemieux: he followed her lead with attentiveness and respect, and the pair seemed as though they were a practiced duo.

But Natacha's raw emotion and pure dynamicism were lacking in Chu's performance, particularly in the Beethoven. Although Yue may be the one to cut the records, Natacha spins the musical magic which one hopes for in a live performance.